i dunno wt happen but i'm tired of all this ... thou everything is ____ and ____ i still go into it .... deeper and deeper .....
i hate moiself ....

HUMMP so long nv cum blogg le ...
Kindda miss all the things here ....
hummp and guy i already re-LINK U ALL LE ..
so haha ..... sorri take such a long time ar..
exam is around so mayb i wun cum in and blog for the time being again but i do miss u guy ...
SHAN WAS HERE ....

exam cumin ...
so stress sia ....
haha btw it been a long long time i been in here ....
haha write again when there is time ....
thank for viewin moi profile ...
***ShAn***

I'M TIRED .... JUX WAT HAPPENING .. I DUNNO I NOE NTH ....
I'M DEAD .... REALLI DEAD ...
***ShAn***

Hummp exam is round the corner .. hummp i still slackking in school life ...
Blar stress sia ...
it been a long time i blog so maybe tat lots to say bah .... hAhA i still goin out play , slack , sleepin haiz dunno wat i m doin oso ... and my art haven draw sia ...
haha
siao la .... and this few day not lik myself .. hummp i mean not look like hu i m .. although ppl said nop but wat i feel bout mi self was totalli different... coz dunno la ... haiz ...
let mi get back to hu i m first before havin another blog here ...

i hate you all ... i really cannot communicate wit you all ... ... between you all and mi it jux quarrellin and disagreement ... ... and unhappiness ... ...
with you all , i feel lose and helpless ... when i have problem , i never ask you all for advice becoz i feel that you all sure will say mi think too much or give mi a lecture ... that wat you all make mi feel .. really ...
other ppl cum back frm overseas sure will wore a smiling face or giv them a big hug each , but you didn't instead you have given mi a lecture , a scolding ... ...
with you all around , i am juz a machine , a machine that you all vent your anger with , always ... .... sumtime it really llet mi feel helpless and feel that myself was hopeless and worthless , and too was incapble in doin things ... ...
you all really give mi a thought of leavin you all may be a good choice ... ... i noe you all will say it for my own good ... ... but do you all noe that you all are givin mi more stress instead of happiness ...
i have been livin in this life for 15 years , should i continue ... ... ... ?
this 15 yrs of my life , is lik playin hide n seek with you all ...
when you all not at home , i be sittin in the livn room watchin tv , jux myself ...
if you all are home i be in my room for the whole nite ... ...
when we meet , sure quarrell will start , and i will sure bang on my bedroom door to Aviod seein you all , and on the music loudly as to not listen to ur argument and my cryin ...
tears running down my cheek and make mi feel so pain ... ...
so as i say my room is my secret garden , it contain lots of my tears and happiness , my anger , my stressful mind , and my unhappines and thinking though ... ...
are all this i should have or it jux that we all can't communicate .... .... ....
do you noe that i hate stayin at home , instead i luv hangin out wit my friends , cox my friends giv mi life , happiness and they earase off my stress and bring mi out of the dark ... ...
i lik stayin in school more than at home ... ...
i noe this is a stupid logic , but that what you all make mi feel ... i m jux sayin out wat i thinkin of ... ... sure there are happy time with you all , but it didn't last long ... ... ...
everything i do was jux lik a shit to you all , but i still doin my very best to show you all , but the answer you giv mi was "why your sister still doin much better than you , u are really hopeless ! "
this word really hurt mi alotx , and it does give mi though of givn up but my friends say sumthing which i think i must not giv up but continue even if you all dun apprecient ... ...
you all really hurt me in ways that i can't say out .... .... but jux lay there and let my tears flow down my face ... ... ...
and you break me and my ex-bf which already make me hate you but you say it for my own good , but bein with him improve my work and life style , bein with him was lik livn in fairy tale but you destroy it as you say it for my own good ... .... ... i m so stupid as to trust you all which i fall back to the dark place i use to be ... ... ...
i often tell ppl , laughin was good for realeasin stress and was good for health , ya i did laugh alots ,but all the laugh was fake , i dunno wat to laugh at when i m in the dark , i see nth and feel nth ... ...
and you givn mi a scoldin today , and the moment you step into this house you scolded me , for wat ... i dunno ... ... ...
that make mi feel that i m jus an rubbich in your mind , which you dun care at all ... ... ... and so i will sure give you some attitude ....
you say you wanna control mi and my life , let mi tell you it impossible , i m gettin frm bad to worst as you say so , so i will show you that .... ..... .... show you wat the meanin of gettin frm bad to worst ... ...
all my things , my problems , my unhappiness , my happines , my works , and my life you all jus noe nth .... .... .... jux as you all say , this is for my own good , this is concern for me , lik real ... ...
i hate you all .... HATE YOU ... HATE YOU ALL .... HATE YOU ALL ....
this hav been kept in my hearts for yrs ... ...

HaHa ... tOdAy .... aRh ..... Go pLaY BaSkEtBaLl ..... WAlAu eArLy In tHe mOrNiNg ..... VeRy eARlY ..... ArH .... tIrEd .... aCtUaLlY 7Am sHoUlD mEeT At tHe Ne cOuRt hAhA ..... BuT I OvErSlP... ThEn cOmPaNy mEiTiNg lOr ... aCtUaLlY DuN WaNnA Go wAn , cOz tOo eArLy lE .... arh tAt mEiting still say she wanna give mi morning call .... in the END i m the one givin her .... haha
then early in the morning 7plus , arh the yongquan call and wake mi up , arh .... emm then go meet meiting lor ... then go meet yongquan , yongming , meiting , florence , junlong , junlong's sis n edwina ... .... haaha feel slpy sia ... we play till 12pm plus bah .... then after tat i go home and slp for a while ... till 5 pm go out to meet my few friends mike , julie they all ... but some was late then we tok and some guy play hip hop under my friends blk at pasir ris then we dance there lor ... emm learn abit of dance one la .... haha luckily no body there.... if not very embrasse pne....arh go orchard then go shop shop lor .... go many places la .... haha dun jealous lor .... actually very tired ....
haha reach home at 12am ... hummp pro rite ... haha but hor i still spend sumtime on this blog good rite ... muhaha ... okok i stop here blog again next time ... .... cya ...

HaVe a dIgItAl cAmErA

Be A SuCcEsSfUl GaL

bE InDePeNdEnCe SHAN

be prettier SHAN

MoRe cOnFiDeNcE SHAN

Be performing Star/diva

GET a digitAL camera

Learn to Dance like BOA

ImproVE on my singing SKill

being a Air stewardness

Grow TAller??

BE PerformINg singeR

Tour around the EARTH